第七届写作决赛赛题解析重点(DOC 11页).doc

1、第七届“外研社杯”全国高职高专英语写作大赛决赛赛题解析【公共英语组】（一）赛题组成及说明1、基于视频的会议纪要，包括：会议时间、地点、出席人员及要点（不少于100词）；2、基于视频的道歉邮件，包括：致歉、补偿计划、承诺和表达友好相处的意愿（不少于150词）；3、短文写作，是第二个写作任务的延展，主题是“Treat others the way we want to be treated”，写作要求包括：题目自定、观点明确、语域得体（不少于300词）。（二）赛题第一部分1. 赛题要求分析Part I（20 points）Directions: Watch Video 1. Suppose you

2、 are Lisa, who is responsible for taking notes. Please submit the minutes (at least 100 words) of the meeting according to the notes you have taken. The following information should be contained in the minutes (you need to add some information to complete the task):l the time, date, and place of the

3、 meeting;l the list of people present (and absent); l the main points of the discussion. 英文会议纪要的格式要求在比赛题目中已给出，答题的重点是会议纪要要点的归纳和表述。最有效的归纳方法是分类。此次会议的主要议题是Joyce产品的营销策略，所以选手可以根据4ps来把视频信息分类，即：price, product, promotion, place。其中 promotion and place在视频中已明确给出。此外，会议纪要需要把会议决议记录下来，即什么部门什么时间完成什么具体任务。会议纪要的语言表述主要涉

4、及时态、人称、句式、衔接词等。补充：4PS是Product（产品）, Price（价格）, Place（渠道）, Promotion（促销）四个单词的首字母组合，由于是复数所以加了S。4PS已成为一种应用广泛的营销组合理论。1. 产品（Product）：向消费者提供什么产品？产品的特性、品牌和包装是什么？在产品上还能附带什么内容？2. 价格（Price）：消费者打算付多少钱购买该商品？根据消费者的反应和竞争对手的实力定什么价位最合适？3. 渠道（Place）：当消费者需要产品时，在哪里以什么方式买到它？用哪种批发或零售方式？地理范围是多大？需要多大的销售力度？以什么样的方式、范围、规模出售商品

5、呢？4. 促销（Promotion）：消费者怎样了解商品？怎样说服他们来购买商品？用什么形式的广告？促销、宣传以及个人购买费用各是多少？2. 赛题答题举例Time: 9:30（需要注明是a.m.还是p.m.）Date: December 10, 2016Place: Meeting RoomAttendee: Jenny, David, Will, and LisaDuring the meeting, marketing strategy, product positioning, and promotion and place these three dimenssions（dimensi

6、ons）were thoroughly discussed and the leadership reached concrete agreements.In terms of marketing strategy, the price was set approximately during30-60（between 30 and 50）. And the first target market will（would） be China with Asia ensued. The main customers will be retail outlets, for example（such

7、as）, supermarkets, department stores, hairdressers, and spas.With reference to product positoning（positioning）, Joyce was positioned as an article of premium quality while maintaining an affordable price to the public.With regard to promotion and place, the leadership decided to stand out（highlight）

8、 its Chinese herbal ingredients as well as other appealing features and to promote the product with the slogan of Eastern Legend. Various methods of advertising such as TV advertisements, Internet ads, and posters was（were） proposed. 此作答虽然有少许语法和拼写错误，漏掉了launch date和actions to be taken（discount detail

9、s ready by the end of the week; department presentation ready before the 2nd of next month），另有个别信息的误记（视频中提到价格的定位是在30-50元，而不是30-60元），但整体信息分类（4ps）比较清楚，语言表达能力比较强，时态(过去时态)基本正确，衔接词（in terms of, with reference to, with regard to, as well as）的使用比较恰当。Introduction很有效。（三）赛题第二部分1. 赛题要求分析Part II （35 points）Dire

10、ctions: Watch Video 2. Suppose you are Richard. After realizing you have made your flatmates upset, write an email (at least 150 words) to restore a friendly relationship with them. The email should cover the following points:l sincerely apologize for your thoughtless behavior;l provide a plan to ma

11、ke amends (补偿);l promise to stick to the rules made by your flatmates;l express your wish to get along well with your flatmates. 此部分的写作要点（致歉、补偿计划、承诺和表达友好相处的意愿）要求非常明确，文体是email，写作目的主要是道歉、补偿及和解。因此这部分的作答情况整体不错，选手大多数都会用三到四段完成四个写作要点。选手的主要差异表现在语言表达能力和写作连贯性方面。2. 赛题答题举例To: my flatmatesFrom: RichardDate: Dec.

12、10, 2016Subject: Restoring a friendly relationshipDear flatmates,I am extremely sorry to both of you for my thoughtless behaviour. I have realized that I did something wrong. I should not eat your food without asking and leave the flat in a mess.I have come up with a plan to make amends. Firstly, I

13、will go shopping to buy all food that I ate before. Secondly, I will clear the flat for a whole month for（as） compesation（compensation） and clear up myself（keep myself neat） every day. Thirdly, I will keep doing exercise regularly the next days. Whats more, I promise that I will stick to the rules m

14、ade by you. If I wouldn（dont） kept my promise, you can punish me just as you like.I am really happy that you can find my mistakes. Without you, I will not realize my bad manners. I really want to get along well with both of you. Please accpet（accept） my hearty apology.Yours sincerely,Richard 该选手的作答格

15、式规范，写作要点都涵盖了。第一段致歉，承认了自己的具体错误；第二段写明补偿计划并做出承诺；第三段再次表达歉意及和解的意愿。语言表述上有个别拼写错误（比如：compesation，wouldn和accpet），语法错误（比如：If I wouldn kept my promise, you can punish me just as you like. ）和用词问题（比如：Secondly, I will clear the flat for a whole month for compesation and clear up myself every day.）。（四）赛题第三部分1. 赛题要

16、求分析Part III (45 points)Directions: Based on Video 2, you could think about how to get along with other people. Write an essay (at least 300 words) about “Treat others the way we want to be treated”. You need to:l title the essay;l write from your own perspective;l write the essay in a proper style.

17、此部分是三个英语写作任务中词数最长、自由度最大的一个写作任务。从指示语来看，此篇短文可以写成exposition或persuasion，作答可以侧重how to get along with other people/how to treat others the way we want to be treated, 或者why treat the others the way we want to be treated。写作技巧可以选择采用或混合使用process analysis, cause and/or effect, comparison and/or contrast, class

18、ification, definition, exemplification。关于语言风格（正式还是非正式），主要跟潜在的读者对象（intended audience）和写作目的（to entertain, to inform, or to persuade ）有关。2. 赛题答题举例Treat Others the Way We Wanted to Be Treated At present, its widely acknowledged that getting along well with other people is becoimng（becoming） increasingly

19、 important in their work, study and life for the modern people. As a young person, what qualities should you be equiped（equipped） with in order to get along well with your friends, classmates and colleagues? Frommy point of view, I assume that its necessary for you to be honest, upright and houmorou

20、s（humorous） if you want to win respect from others. In the first place, aswe all know, its vital for you to be honest when you work or communicate with others, which can enable you to win trust from others and leave a deep impression on them as well，since honesty is the best policy. Moreover, I thin

21、k honesty is the pre-condition of getting along well with others in that you will be accepted by you colleagues or calssmates（classmates）easily if you are honest. Therefore, I hold that honesty is one of the vital factors for you to get along well with others. In the second place, I believed that yo

22、u will obtain trust from others if you are upright. According to the latest survey, about 89% of people who are upright always get more opportunities for promotion in work and they are also get along well with others. For example, David Chen, he devotes his sufficient passion and efforts to help oth

23、ers and carries out a nonprofit programHope Project in order to help the poor children who cant afford to study. Its due to being upright,he can get along well with others easily. Last but not least, Its reported that a great number of young peple（people） would like to communicate with the houmorous

24、（humorous） people in that they are able to gain happiness from the houmorous（humorous）people. Futhermore（Furthermore）, you are mostly likely to be accepted by others if you often make them delighted. Therefore, I assume that you will get along well with others if you are houmorous（humorous）to a larg

25、e extent.Based on the analysis above, we may come to a safe conclusion that you are more prone to get along well with others if you are honest, upright and houmorous（humorous）. Apart from these qualities, you ought to have sympathy and respect others as well. Only in this way, can you get along well

26、 with your families, colleagues and classmates in the near future. 这个写作任务完成得还算不错。典型的一个five-paragraph essay，开头段引入话题（how to get along well with other people），摆明观点（being honest, upright, & humorous），明确短文结构布局(each of the three body paragraphs dealing with one point)；中间三段每段都有topic sentence, example(s)/il

27、lustration, concluding sentence；结尾段再次总结三个要点，首尾相呼应。 这篇短文可以改进的空间有以下几点： 修改每段的主题句（topic sentence）：主题句通常出现在每段的句首，须简洁明了。这篇短文的作者为了避免使用简单的句式表达三个主题句You will get along well with other people if you are honest/upright/humorous.采取了改变措辞的好策略，但是表述上需要修改，比如可以改成You will gain trust if you are honest; you will gain res

28、pect if you are upright; you will share/give happiness with/to others if you are humorous. 要点排序（Arrangement of ideas）: 三个要点的排列在此篇短文里是并列关系，因为选手使用的衔接词分别是：in the first place, in the second place, last but not least。如果按要点的重要性递减或递增的顺序排列，段落间的逻辑关系会更强。 结尾段：结尾段是概括总结或重申作者的观点，不需要引入新的要点（Apart from these qualiti

29、es, you ought to have sympathy and respect others as well.），多余的就删去。 另需注意拼写、标点、空格和语法等错误。【英语专业组】（一）赛题组成及说明：1、基于视频的memo，主题是出差报销单的填写，内容包括：填写哪些信息、需要哪些票据、报销程序及报销费用何时到账（不少于150词）；2、基于视频的分析报告，分析两家公司合作前景，要点包括：对TAF Company的印象、其产品的竞争优势或劣势、两家公司的合作前景（不少于250词）；3、短文写作，是第二个写作任务的延展，主题是why innovative quality is so imp

30、ortant to a company and how to be innovative，写作要求包括题目自定、观点明确、语域得体（不少于300词）。（二）赛题第一部分1. 赛题要求分析Part I (25 points)Directions: Watch Video 1. Suppose you are Ada, the senior accountant of Finance Department. Write a memo (at least 150 words) to all the staff to explain how to submit the business travel

31、expenses claim form. All the following points should be covered in the memo:l what information needs to be provided when one fills in the form;l what documents should be prepared;l what procedures should be completed and when reimbursement (报销费用) will be paid. 该项写作任务要求非常明确，选手只要按memo格式及填表步骤，把四个要点（填写哪

32、些信息、需要哪些票据、签字程序及报销费用何时到账）写清楚就可以了。2. 赛题答题举例To: All staffFrom: Ada, Finance DepartmentAbout: Things need to be done when you submit the travel expenses claim form. Greetings! Recently we have received some staff and taught them how to submit their business travel expenses claim form, in order to ensur

33、e our work efficiency and accuracy, this memo is to offer you some tips for you to know（to let you know）what you need to do before submit the form. When filling in the form, you need to provide your name and department information and also your travel dates at first. The purpose of the trip is neede

34、d to be declared too. Meanwhile, you also have to fill in the starting time and ending time of your business trip accroding（according） to your schdule（schedule）. After having finished those（the） basic information, you are supposed to make a list of your expenses during the trip. All the expenses sho

35、uld be filled in item by item, in the last column you need to write down the total amount of your expenses. Be awea（aware）, you must have all the receipts for every item of expense attached to the form. Once you have the form submitted, we will send it to your department manager to confirm your expe

36、nses。After the final confirmation, we will transfer the money back to your bank account and inform you by a phone call. The whole procedure will cost no more than one week. I hope you have already known what to do for the travel expenses claim by now. May you have a good day. 这个写作任务完成地不错！要点做到了全部覆盖，并

37、且句子间及段落间的衔接流畅。memo的格式基本正确，格式中加上发布时间就更好了。第一段和最后一段可以更简洁些，因为这是公司内部的书面沟通，最后一句可以改成：If you have any questions/find anything confusing, please let me know. 需要注意的地方是run-on sentences, 比如: 第一段Recently we have received some staff and taught them how to submit their business travel expenses claim form, in order

38、 to ensure our work efficiency and accuracy, this memo is to offer you some tips for you to know what you need to do before submit the form。此句需要在第二行断句，不能“一逗到底”。第三段All the expenses should be filled in item by item, in the last column you need to write down the total amount of your expenses.也是如此。虽然只有一

39、个逗号，但是这里包含两个完整的句子，需要断句，把逗号改成句号。（三）赛题第二部分1. 赛题要求分析Part II (35 points)Directions: Watch Video 2. Suppose you are Tony. After having listened to Mr. Smiths introduction to their products, write a report (at least 250 words) to analyze the prospects for cooperation between the two companies. In the repo

40、rt, you should present your ideas about the following aspects (you need to add some information to complete the task):l your impression of TAF Company;l the advantages/disadvantages of their products compared with their competitors;l the prospects for cooperation between the two companies. 该写作任务的要点（

41、对TAF Company的印象、其产品的竞争优势或劣势、两家公司的合作前景）要求也是非常明确，视频提供的信息主要涉及第二个要点，该写作任务主要考查选手对商务报告格式的熟悉程度、概括能力和书面表达能力。2. 赛题答题举例 To seek a potenial（potential） business partner I recently went to TAF company and met Mr. Smith there. He had introduced their company and some of the advantages of their products to me. In

42、my point of view, TAF is a highly competitive company with outstanding operating strategies in the field. They focus on R&D with whole concentration and take nothing for granted on that. I consider this as the core of them. Comparing with other compnies（companies） in this field, they could be consid

43、ered more innovative,（。） Mr. Smith had emphasized that they have a world-class research center and that can gurantee（guarantee） their innovative quality. While having a great product awearnes（awareness） from customers by advertising widly（widely）, they also have a strict system to control the cost,

44、that（which）makes them have another advantage on price. However, Mr. Smith mentioned that they use only classic and ordinary packages because they think it might shrink the cost and help customers avoiding extra costs. Accroding（According） to my previous market research, I found that other companies

45、in this field are more likely to choose fancy and luxury-looking packages for their products, and what the customers do be willing to pay that bill. A good looking package can always attract customers, and it is not that expensive. Having retrated（retreated） strategy on this aspect, I think this may

46、 be a disadvantage for them. In conclusion, I reckon that there are more advantages than disadvantages to cooperate with them,（。）the prospect of the cooperation between two companies is overwhlemingly（overwhelmingly） good. We can place a trial order by now to have a further confirmation in order to

47、see if their products are welcomed by customers in our country too. Tony 此项写作任务在内容和表述上还是非常不错的！开头段引入话题自然，回答了第一问题（impression of TAF company）。第二段点明TAF公司的两个优势innovative quality and reasonable price，句式丰富，表达清晰。第三段是关于TAF公司产品包装的风格，视频材料提供的信息非常有限（Mr. Smith mentioned that they use only classic and ordinary packages because they think it might shrink the cost and help customers avoiding extr