(2020英语新高考(山东海南))专题六-写作第课件.pptx
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1、专题六专题六写作第二节写作第二节读后续写读后续写对于这种新的题型,考生首先要能对所给的文章有深刻的理解,对文章的脉络和发展的方向有很好的把握,对文章使用的词汇的特点有整体的认知。然后,根据对文章结构的理解设计合理的情节,完成对文章的续写。因此,续写文章的关键是:1.掌握所给文章的主旨意图及故事情节的发展方向这点至关重要。只有把握了文章的主旨意图,才能很好地完成续写。2.正确理解故事的脉络线索和段落结构,设计续写内容的基本框架只有对原文的脉络线索和段落结构有正确的和深刻的理解,续写的内容才能和原文骨肉相连,契合紧密。3.理清文章中的要点信息和逻辑关系确保续写的内容和原文要有逻辑上的一致性,并能回
2、应原文的信息。4.感知文章的用词特点以便使续写的内容在语言色彩上和所给文章保持一致。5.注意语言的使用考试说明中非常明确地指出,写作中要准确使用语法和词汇,清楚、连贯地表达自己的意思。所以,在考虑文章结构的同时,一定要注意使用比较“高级”的词汇和语法结构。原题呈现(2017年6月浙江高考)On a bright,warm July afternoon,Mac Hollan,a primary school teacher,was cycling from his home to Alaska with his friends.One of his friends had stopped to
3、make a bicycle repair,but they had encouraged Mac to carry on,and they would catch up with him soon.As Mac pedaled(骑行)along alone,he thought fondly of his wife and two young daughters at home.He hoped to show them this beautiful place someday.阅读下面短文,根据所给情节进行续写,使之构成一个完整的故事。Then Mac heard quick and lo
4、ud breathing behind him.“Man,thats a big dog!”he thought.But when he looked to the side,he saw instantly that it wasnt a dog at all,but a wolf,quickly catching up with him.Macs heart jumped.He found out his can of bear spray.With one hand on the bars,he fired the spray at the wolf.A bright red cloud
5、 enveloped the animal,and to Macs relief,it fell back,shaking its head.But a minute later,it was by his side again.Then it attacked the back of Macs bike,tearing open his tent bag.He fired at the wolf a second time,and again,it fell back only to quickly restart the chase(追赶).Mac was pedaling hard no
6、w.He waved and yelled at passing cars_but was careful not to slow down.He saw a steep uphill climb before him.He knew that once he hit the hill,hed be easily caught up and the wolfs teeth would be tearing into his flesh.At this moment,Paul and Becky were driving their car on their way to Alaska.They
7、 didnt think much of it when they saw two cyclists repairing their bike on the side of the road.A bit later,they spotted what they,too,assumed was a dog running alongside a man on a bike.As they got closer,they realized that the dog was a wolf.Mac heard a large vehicle behind him.He pulled in front
8、of it as the wolf was catching up fast,just a dozen yards away now.写作指导第一步:快速浏览,读懂原文通读全文首先要解决好五个W和一个H的问题,即理清人物who,地点where,时间when,事件what,原因why及怎样发展how。理解这篇文章的五个W之后就能快速了解文章大意:Mac与好友一起骑行去阿拉斯加,路上同伴因修自行车落后,Mac独自一人前行,遇到狼的突袭,好一番搏斗,幸亏此时Paul和Becky两人开车经过,出手相救。至于如何发展(how)?这要看考生的想象力如何。第二步:构思情节,谋篇布局布局谋篇的关键是利用好两方
9、面的信息:1.续写部分所给的两个段落的首句The car abruptly stopped in front of him.和A few minutes later,the other two cyclists arrived。这两句话起到非常关键的作用,无论从时间的先后、情节的发展都要以这两句话作为内在逻辑关系。2.在情节的安排中,必须按照叙述的顺序,继续紧密结合原材料中五个W的逻辑顺序发展下去。(1)第一段写什么?应围绕Paul and Becky如何救助Mac展开,充分发挥丰富的想象,把Paul停车后如何在千钧一发之际拯救Mac的过程写得趣味横生又合乎情理。(2)第二段写什么?弄清楚开头
10、的这两个人是谁很重要,然后依照符合故事情节发展的内在逻辑推进下去。朋友到达之后看到、听到并做了什么。最后应该提炼思想性和体现价值观的传递正能量的元素(如珍爱生命,学会合作或感激等),以提升文章的档次。注意:第一段和第二段要衔接紧密,相互关联,不能独立存在。第三步:理清逻辑,优化语言这一步侧重点为语言逻辑,词句结构都必须符合当时人狼大战的情景。续写时要按照情节的发展进行延续,写作手法上必须以叙为主,描写上以动作描写为重心,情节的发展合乎逻辑地推进。第四步:以优美的文字誊写阅卷名师点津1.内容方面在阅卷过程中发现,一部分考生没有读懂原文,如不认识bear spray,不理解a bright red
11、 cloud enveloped the animal,没有理清人物关系,误认为Paul与Mac是好朋友:这部分考生由于阅读能力直接影响到续写的发挥。还有些考生描写心理活动和场景过多,缺乏具体描写,导致故事不够连贯,不够完整。2.语言方面从评卷结果来看,考生出现的问题偏向于刻意追求运用高级、新颖的词汇,强行运用复杂句型等语法结构,而忽略了与原文语言环境的符合度和连贯度。同时出现了一些单词拼写错误等。更有甚者用套路作文,这与读后续写的全新创作宗旨相违背。3.逻辑方面(1)违背生活真实。如在紧张的人狼大战环境下,有的考生却写两人在拉家常。(2)人物关系混乱。如增加了一些人物,让故事变得更加复杂;把
12、Paul与Mac看成是原先认识的;有些故事的结局并没有交代如何处理狼。(3)两段的开头语理解不到位,以及两段之间衔接不够,也带来了很多故事上的混乱。比如第一段的The car abruptly stopped in front of him,学生理解为是Mac要求他停车等。4.其他问题阅卷中发现很多标点错误,以下几点需注意:英语中没有顿号,分割句中并列成分多用逗号,如She slowly,carefully,deliberately moved the box;英文的句号是实心点(.);英文的省略号是三个点(.),位置在行底。【考场范文1】Paragraph 1:The car abruptl
13、y stopped in front of him.A woman hurriedly opened the door and stretched out her hand,shouting,“Get in!”Mac grabbed her hand without hesitation,leaving his bicycle lying on the road and jumped into the car.The moment he shut the door,he caught the glimpse of the fierce eyes and hungry look of the w
14、olf by the door.A cold feeling crept over his heart and made him shiver.However,the car had left the wolf far behind,which made him sigh with relief.Mac thanked Paul and Becky and afterwards they pulled over by the road to wait for Macs friends.Paragraph 2:A few minutes later,the two other cyclists
15、arrived.As soon as they met,his friends worried look faded away.“Where have you been?We saw your bicycle on the road.”His friend asked and these words like a penetrate of sunshine warmed his heart.After Mac explained to them,they said farewell to Paul and Becky in sincerely indebtedness.On the way h
16、ome,night breeze made him at ease and he couldnt wait to share his experience with his wife and children and show the kindness of the world.1.这篇文章语言上最大的特色是用无生命特征的名词作句子的主语。整篇11个句子,其中无灵主语就有5句,占了42%。(1)A cold feeling crept over his heart and made him shiver.(2)However,the car had left the wolf far behi
17、nd,which made him sigh with relief.(3)As soon as they met,his friends worried look faded away.(4)these words like a penetrate of sunshine warmed his heart.(5)On the way home,night breeze made him at ease.这样,同样含义的句子就由平淡变得生动有力了。2.语言上的第二大特色就是这篇文章词汇的使用,如indebtedness等于gratitude感激,pull over表达路边停车,这些都体现了较为
18、深厚的语言功底。3.但是,文章还是有些瑕疵。Mac grabbed her hand without hesitation,leaving his bicycle lying on the road and jumped into the car.这一句中应将leaving改为left,使其与前面的grabbed及后面的jumped 成为连贯动作,也可把jumped 改为jumping同leaving平行成为grabbed的伴随状语;His friend asked and these words like a penetrate of sunshine warmed his heart.此句
19、中的penetrate是个动词被错误地当作名词使用,可以改为His friend asked and these words like a ray of sunshine warmed his heart;After Mac explained to them,they said farewell to Paul and Becky in sincerely indebtedness.此句中的sincerely应该改为形容词修饰名词indebtedness。【考场范文2】Paragraph 1:The car abruptly stopped in front of him.Macs hear
20、t jumped wildly,and he dashed towards the car without the slightest hesitation for he knew it was his only chance.It was a real race against time to make it!Thank god,Mac successfully made the door open and that fierce wolf was just around the corner.The instant Mac settled him on the seat,Paul star
21、ted the car in a flash.The wolf had to give up and find another goal.What a narrow escape!Mac collapsed into the seat and smiled bitterly.The other two guys decided to stop at the gas station to have a rest.Paragraph 2:A few minutes later,the two other cyclists arrived.Seeing his friends,Mac felt a
22、great weight taken off his mind.His friends were amazed at Macs experience,for it was a miracle to escape from a hungry wolf!Mac thanked Paul and Becky again and again,but his appreciation was beyond words.He said sincerely:“You cant imagine how grateful I was,for I have been given a second life!”Te
23、ars gathered up in Macs eyes when he waved them goodbye.It was obviously an unforgettable experience,and Mac would have a lot to share with his family after he got home.It was his courage and other peoples kindness that saved him.1.从语言角度出发,这篇文章特征明显。2.首先是语言地道,表现在三处for的使用:(1)Macs heart jumped wildly,a
24、nd he dashed towards the car without the slightest hesitation for he knew it was his only chance.(2)His friends were amazed at Macs experience,for it was a miracle to escape from a hungry wolf!(3)You cant imagine how grateful I was,for I have been given a second life!句子中使用for更加符合英语的思维习惯,尽管前后是并列关系,但是
25、前面提供了主要的信息,然后进行补充说明。如:因为李越出色的表现,校长授予他“本周学生之星”荣誉称号。在这句话中,汉语的思维是先说原因,而英语的翻译则是先说结果:The president awarded Li Yue the title of“Star Student of the Week”for what she did for our class.原因和结果的位置是有很大差异的。3.再者,此文章比较娴熟地使用了写作的各种技巧,如强调句的使用:It was his courage and other peoples kindness that saved him.感叹句的使用:(1)You
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