大学英语写作课件6-Effective-sent.ppt

1、nAccording to the usages of the sentences:n1)Declarative sentencesn2)Interrogative sentencesn3)Imperative sentencesn4)Exclamatory sentencesnAccording to the structures of the sentences:n1)simple sentencesn2)Compound sentencesn3)Complex sentencesTypes of sentencesAccording to Rhetoric retrik（修辞学）Loos

2、e,Periodic and Balanced sentencesLoose Sentences松散句或散体句松散句或散体句nA loose sentence puts the main idea before all supplementary information;nIn other words,it puts first things first,nAnd lets the reader know what it is mainly about when he has read the first few words.nEx:nI am willing to pay slightly

3、higher taxes for the privilege of living in Canada,considering the free health care,the cheap tuition fees,the low crime rate,the comprehensive social programs,and the wonderful winters.n The main point of this sentence is that the writer prefers to live in Canada,and the writer makes the point at t

4、he very beginning:everything which follows is simply extra information.Loose sentences nLoose sentence is the one which the main idea is placed first nNo suspense is attempted.It goes straight to the point so that the reader gets it before he comes to the end of the sentence.nLoose sentences are eas

5、ier,simpler,more natural and direct.Periodic Sentences掉尾句掉尾句/圆周句圆周句/整体句整体句nA periodic sentence:nThe main idea is expressed at or near the end of it,nAnd it is not grammatically complete until the end is reached.nThe reader does not know what it is mainly about until he finishes reading it.It is more

6、 complex,emphatic,formal and literary.Periodic SentencesnIt is important to remember that periodic sentences:nUsed once or twice in a piece of writing,they can be very effective;nUsed any more than that,they can make you sound dull and pompous（浮夸）（浮夸）.Examples na.She decided to study English though

7、she was interested in music.b.Although she was interested in music,she finally decided to study English.nThe main idea of both sentences is the fact that she decided to study English.nThis idea is put at the beginning of the first sentence and at the end of the second,thus making one a loose sentenc

8、e and the other a periodic one.Examplesna.She decided to study English though she was interested in music.b.Although she was interested in music,she finally decided to study English.nBesides,the first part of the first sentence is complete in structure;nBut that of the second is only an adverbial cl

9、ause and cannot be called a sentence without the second part.Periodic Sentencen It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.n有一条举世公认有一条举世公认的真理真理:那就是凡有钱的单身汉那就是凡有钱的单身汉总想娶位太太总想娶位太太.nHe was offered a professional contract after winni

10、ng the Olympic gold medal for figure skating,according to newspaper reports.n Loose SentencenAccording to newspaper reports,after winning the Olympic gold medal for figure skating,he was offered a professional contract.n Periodic sentencenThere have been many great discoveries made by scientists in

11、the twentieth century.Loose sentence Scientists in the twentieth century have made many great discoveries.Periodic sentencenI enjoyed the opera because the music is beautiful,because the performers are excellent.nLoose sentencenBecause the music is beautiful and the performers are excellent,I enjoye

12、d the opera.nPeriodic sentencenBalanced sentences(平行句平行句,对偶句）对偶句）When a sentence contains two parts of the same structure and roughly the same length,and with contrasted(or similar)ideas.It is a balanced sentence.e.g.1 He likes pop music;his girlfriend hates it.2 The old man is not lack of money but

13、 lack of happiness.3 On hearing the news,he was excited and I was worried.nGenerally,well-written compositions are not entirely made up of loose or periodic or balanced sentences.They should be a mixture of the three for the sake of variety.Effective Sentencesn Correctness alone can not make a good

14、sentence.It has to be effective at the same time.Effective sentences have some of the following qualities:nunity（一致性）（一致性）ncoherence（连贯性）（连贯性）nConciseness（简洁性）（简洁性）nEmphasis（强调性）（强调性）nVariety（多样性）（多样性）Unity（统一性）（统一性）A unified sentence means everything in the sentence should contribute to making one

15、clear idea.Unity refers to two qualities:there is only one main idea in a sentence,and that idea is complete.The explorer who has just returned from the Antarctic is busy writing reports on his adventures on that ice-covered continent,where he did not see any animals except penguins.nThis is a long

16、sentence with many parts,including two clauses.It has one central idea(the explorer is writing reports on his adventures in the Antarctic)and all the other ideas are related to this central idea.Look at the example:.n Bring into a sentence only related thoughts and put unrelated thoughts in another

17、sentence or sentences.E.g.Born in Sichuan Province,he later became a famous writer.This is a correct but not a good sentence,because the two parts mentioned in it are not logically connected:a man born in Sichuan is not certain to become a famous writer.We can say this sentence lacks unity.To make t

18、he meaning clear,we have to say something about his education and work experience that help to make him a famous writer.Dream of the Red Mansions is the best-known novel.What about this?n（1）Dream of the Red Mansions is one of the best-known classical Chinese novels.n（2）Of all the Chinese novels writ

19、ten before the 20th century Dream of the Red Mansions is perhaps the most popular.This seems to be a correct sentence,but its meaning is not complete.“the best-known novel”should have been modified.The two sentences that follow are clearer:uCompare:1.1)Born in a small town in South China in the earl

20、y 50s,he grew up to be a famous musician.(faulty)2)He was born in a small town in South China in the early 50s.In his childhood he liked to sing songs.Later he entered a conservatory In the 70s he became a famous musician.(revised)2.1)Du Fu was one of the greatest poets.(faulty)2)Du Fu was one of th

21、e greatest poets of the Tang Dynasty.(revised)Unrelated:I was nervous,and I combed my hair a dozen times and I looked in the mirror over and over again to make sure my false eyelashes hadnt come unglued.n Related:I was nervous before my first date.I combed my hair a dozen times and I looked in the m

22、irror over and over again to make sure my false eyelashes hadnt come unglued.nUnrelated:nLast Friday Tom sprained his ankle,and he could not find his favorite T-shirt anywhere.nRelated:It was an awful day last Friday.Tom not only sprained his ankle,but also he could not find his favorite T-shirt any

23、where.Coherence(连贯性）连贯性）n Coherence means clear and correct arrangement of the parts of a sentence.A sentence is coherent when the words are properly connected and their relationship is clear.n A coherence sentence is easy to understand,because the connection between its words conforms to grammar ru

24、les and usage.a.Do not separate words that are closely related unless it is necessary;b.Do not use a pronoun with ambiguous reference;c.Do not use a dangling modifier or put a modifier far from the word it modifiers;Here are a few rules which may help to prevent incoherence:d.Do not make unnecessary

25、 or confusing shifts in person or number;e.Do not make unnecessary changes in the voice,tense or mood of verbs;f.Do not use different forms to express parallel ideas.1.Everyone is studying English in this school.（1）This sentence may imply that the school mentioned is the only place where people can

26、study English.（2）Perhaps the speaker means that everyone in this school is studying English.The phrase“in this school”should have been placed immediately after the subject.Its position determines its function.n2.Mrs.Green said to her sister that she had done the right thing.nRevised:n1)Mrs.Green sai

27、d to her sister,“you have done the right thing.”n2)Mrs.Green said to her sister,“I have done the right thing.”n3)Mrs.Green thought that her sister had done the right thing and said so to her.n4)Mrs.Green said to her sister that herself had done the right thing.n3.Looking out of the window,only dull

28、grey buildings can be seen.nRevised:n Looking out of the window,I can only see the dull grey buildings.n After studying Lesson Ten,the mid-term test was given to us.nRevised:n After studying Lesson Ten,we had the mid-term test.n If a modifier is placed in an awkward positionfar away from what it mod

29、ifies,it is called a misplaced modifier.What is a misplaced modifier?n A modifier must be placed as close to the word it modifies as possible so that there is no misunderstanding about what it modifies.1).That cat belongs to my neighbor with five kittens.(Obviously,with five kittens modifies cat,not

30、 my neighbor.it should be placed between cat and belong.Misplaced Modifiers 2).The boy threw rock at the horse in the raincoat.(In the raincoat describes the boy,not the horse.)n3).The funny cartoon attracts the readers eye on the cover of the magazine.n The funny cartoon on the cover of the magazin

31、e attracts the readers eye.n4).The doctor promised on her way to her hospital to come and see me.n The doctor promised to come and see me on her way to her hospital.4.Do not make confusing shifts in person and number.n1)Those who want to join in the chorus should sign your name on this sheet of pape

32、r.n Those who want to join in the chorus should sign their name on this sheet of paper.n2)He looks up difficult words in his dictionaries,and it is very helpful.n He looks up difficult words in his dictionaries,and they are very helpful.5.Do not make unnecessary change in tense,voice and mood.n1)The

33、 explosion destroyed the building and a number of people were injured.n The explosion destroyed the building and injured a number of people.n In the explosion the building was destroyed and a number of people injured.n2)A lot of higher houses were built around hers in the past few years and she gets

34、 no more sunlight.n A lot of higher buildings have been built around hers in recent years and as a result she gets no more sunlight.n n A lot of higher building were built around hers and as a result she got no more sunlight.Parallelism prlelzm (对称结构）对称结构）Parallel ideas had better be expressed in pa

35、rallel construction.nFaulty:A man is judged not only by what he said but also by his deeds.Revised:A man is judged not only by what he said but also by what he did.nFaulty:We thought she was charming,intelligent,and a very capable young woman.Revised:We thought she was a charming,intelligent,and cap

36、able young woman.nFaulty:This composition is quite good as far as the use of language is concerned,but its content is poor.Revised:This composition is good in language but poor in content.The language of this composition is quite good but its content is rather poor.1)She told my sister that she was

37、wrong.2)He was knocked down by a bike,but it was not serious.3)I read an interesting story in a magazine about sportsmen.Revise the following sentences to make them coherent.2)He was knocked down by a bike,but was not seriously hurt.3)I read in a magazine an interesting story about sportsmen./In a m

38、agazine I read an interesting story about sportsmen1)She said to my sister,“You are wrong.”She said to my sister,“I am wrong.”She told my sister that she herself was wrong.She thought my sister was wrong and said so to her.3.ConcisenessnConciseness:A sentence should not contain unnecessary words.If

39、the idea is fully expressed,the fewer words,the better.a.Use a pronoun instead of repeating a noun;b.Use a word instead of a phrase with the same meaning,and use a phrase instead of a clause with the same meaning;Ways to achieve concisenessc.Do not repeat words or phrases,if possible,in a sentence o

40、r in one that follows;d.Do not use different words or phrases with similar meanings in the same sentence;e.Do not repeat the same idea in different sentences except for emphasis.The following sentence is wordy and can be simplified:In the month of May people of different professions from all circles

41、 in this city will hold meetings to elect representatives,and these representatives will go to Beijing,the capital,in October to attend a national congress of model workers from the whole country.A simpler version would be:In May people of different professions in this city will elect representative

42、s,who will attend a national congress of model workers in Beijing in October.Here is another example:There are trees on all sides of the house,and the trees hide the house.People can hardly see the house from the outside.A simpler version would be:Surrounded by trees,the house can hardly be seen fro

43、m the outside;or The house,hidden behind trees,can hardly be seen from the outside.uCompare:My father is 65 years old,and he is a professor in Hunan University.He has a healthy body of his age.My father,a professor of 65 years old in Hunan University,enjoys the best of health.（用同位语改写）nWordy:nI saw a

44、 girl who is very beautiful.nIn my opinion,I believe your plan is feasible.nThe machine was jointly designed by the old engineer and with the help of some of his younger colleagues.nIt was blue in color.nIt was small in size.nMary is a quiet and careful woman.nThe chairman of the board will give up

45、his job next year because of old age.Revise the following sentence to make them more concise:1)My father has returned back from Beijing.2)Mr.Smith likes to drink all kinds of wine that are produced in France.3)The language lab is open to students not only from English Department but also from other

46、department of the university.1)My father has returned from Beijing./My father has come back from Beijing.2)Mr.Smith prefers wines produced in France./Mr.Smith prefers French wines.3)The language lab is open to all the students in the university.Emphasisn If you need to show one idea is more importan

47、t than the other,the expression of them should change in emphasis.1.Placingn Gain emphasis by placing important words at the beginning of the sentence or at the end of the sentence.nWeak:1)There was a policeman who told my new baby sitter the way home.Emphatic:.The policeman told my new baby sitter

48、the way homen weak:2)Only Qian Wen could have written such a nice essay,though there are fifty students in the class.n Emphasis:n Of the fifty students in the class,no one could have written such a nice essay but Qian Wen.2.Climactic Sequence(升序法，渐进法）升序法，渐进法）n In enumerating things or ideas,we shoul

49、d start from the least important and end with the most important,or in the climactic sequence.nE.g.n1.A biologist once said the ant is a symbol of wisdom,industry,and efficiency.nRevised:nA biologist once said the ant is a symbol of industry,efficiency and wisdom.n2.This tourist group,visited the Gr

50、eat Wall,the Summer Palace,the Palace Museum,and the zoo while they were in Beijing.nRevised:n This tourist group,while in Beijing,visited the Zoo,the Summer Palace,the Palace Museum,and the Great Wall.n3.He said he had lost interest in life,fame,position,and money after that tragedy.nRevised:n He s