英语写作优化句子的常用方法分析课件.ppt

1、一、同位语手段一、同位语手段三、运用并列句三、运用并列句二、运用短语二、运用短语四、运用复合句四、运用复合句2008年广东高考题 你很荣幸地成为你很荣幸地成为2008北京奥运会的一名志北京奥运会的一名志愿者，负责编写奥运比赛项目的英语介绍。愿者，负责编写奥运比赛项目的英语介绍。 【写作内容写作内容】 请根据以下中文提纲，编写射击项目的英请根据以下中文提纲，编写射击项目的英语介绍：语介绍： 背景：射击最初只是生存工具，背景：射击最初只是生存工具，19世纪末世纪末才发展成体育活动。才发展成体育活动。 1896：第一次成为奥运项目：第一次成为奥运项目 1904：中断：中断 1928：中断：中断 19

2、32：重回奥运会：重回奥运会1968：第一次允许妇女参加奥运射击比赛：第一次允许妇女参加奥运射击比赛 现状：稳步发展，现状：稳步发展，1896年奥运会只有三项年奥运会只有三项 射击项目，现今有射击项目，现今有17项。项。【写作要求写作要求】 只能使用只能使用5个句子表达全部内容。个句子表达全部内容。【评分标准评分标准】句子结构准确，信息内容完整，篇章结构句子结构准确，信息内容完整，篇章结构连贯。连贯。 Shooting, originated as a means of survival, developed into a sport only in the late 19th century

3、. The sport , which first appeared in 1896, was ever suspended during the 1904 and 1928 Games. It was only four years before the sport returned to the Olympic. However, not until 1968 were women first allowed to compete in the Olympic shooting. With the sport becoming more and more popular, it has g

4、rown steadily from just 3 shooting events at the 1896 Olympic Games to 17 today.广东广东08高考基础写作范文：高考基础写作范文： 句子表达有何亮点？句子表达有何亮点？ 此方法多用于介绍此方法多用于介绍或或等。等。 【例例1】介绍事物：介绍事物： （2008） 射击最初只是生存工具，射击最初只是生存工具，19世纪才发展世纪才发展成为一项体育运动。成为一项体育运动。 Shooting, , developed into a sport only in the late 19th century. 【例例2】介绍人物：介

5、绍人物： （2009） 上周我们就中小学生近视问题采访了上周我们就中小学生近视问题采访了眼科医生王教授。眼科医生王教授。 Last week, we had an interview with Professor Wang, , concerning the issue of short-sightedness of the school children in China. 【例例3】介绍书名：（介绍书名：（2011） 书名：书名： Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother 作者：作者： Amy Chua，美籍华人，耶鲁大学，美籍华人，耶鲁大学教授教授 中文版：中文版：

6、 2011年初开始在中国销售年初开始在中国销售 A book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, written by Amy Chua, an American-Chinese, has been sold in China since the beginning of 2011. 1. Guangzhou is the capital of Guangdong Province. It is located in the middle of Guangdong Province. It is the culture and economy center of

7、 Guangdong Province. Guangzhou, , is located in the middle of Guangdong. 合并句子合并句子 2. Zhang Hai is male. He is 23 years old. He graduated from Hunan Normal University last year. Zhang Hai, graduated from Hunan Normal University last year.运用同位语合并句子运用同位语合并句子 1. 去年，我被邀请参加一个为去年，我被邀请参加一个为“待援助待援助的孩子的孩子”（Tu

8、esday Child）举办的一）举办的一个狂欢节（个狂欢节（carnival），），“待援助的孩待援助的孩子子”是一个帮助艾滋患儿的组织。是一个帮助艾滋患儿的组织。 Last year, I was invited to participate in a carnival for Tuesday Child, _. 2. 离离2010年还有一个月时间，但年还有一个月时间，但孤星孤星指南指南（the Lonely Planet）等不及宣）等不及宣布来年十大旅游城市排行榜，布来年十大旅游城市排行榜，孤星指孤星指南南是世界最畅销旅游指南杂志之一。是世界最畅销旅游指南杂志之一。 There is s

9、till more than one month to go before 2012. But the Lonely Planet, _ _ , cant wait to announce its top 10 cities to travel to in the coming year. 1. 李敏是个女孩子，今年李敏是个女孩子，今年18岁，她在岁，她在光华中学学习，她是我的邻居也是我光华中学学习，她是我的邻居也是我最好的朋友。最好的朋友。 Li Min, , is studying in Guanghua Middle School. 2. 姓名：姓名：Steve Jobs 别名：苹果教父

10、（别名：苹果教父（godfather） 出生地：美国加州三藩市出生地：美国加州三藩市 出生日期：出生日期：1955年年2月月24日日 逝世日期：逝世日期：2011年年10月月5日日 Steve Jobs, , was born in San Francisco, California, the USA on February 24th, 1955 and passed away on October 5th, 2011. 【例例4】我很惊讶，一切进展得那么顺利。我很惊讶，一切进展得那么顺利。 【一般一般】I was surprise. Everything went on very well.

11、 【高级高级】, everything went on well. 【例例5】Waste water is making the river worse and worse. The waste water is from a factory. The factory lies on the river. 【高级高级】 1. Xiaxi Town is not big but beautiful. It has an area of about 8 square kilometers. Xiaxi Town, with an area of about 8 square kilometers,

12、 is not big but beautiful. 2. There is an old tower. The tower lies in the east of the town. There is a river behind the tower. In the east of the town lies an old tower, behind which there is a river. 3. We started early. We wanted to enjoy the sunrise on the top of the tower. We started early (in

13、order/ so as/in an effort) to enjoy /with the purpose (goal) of enjoying the sunrise on the top of the tower. 4. As soon as we got there, we began to take photos. On arriving there, we began to take photos. 5. A professor gave us a talk this morning. He came from Beijing University. He talked about

14、how to learn English well. A professor from Beijing University gave us a talk about/on how to learn English well this morning. 6. He told us of his own interesting experiences of learning English. We laughed a lot. On hearing his own interesting experiences of learning English, we laughed a lot. 7.

15、His talk lasted an hour. He asked us some questions. During the one-hour talk, he asked us some questions. 使用时请注意以下几点：使用时请注意以下几点： 不定式不定式的动作发生在谓语动词之后（一般的动作发生在谓语动词之后（一般情况下，尽量用不定式的主动式）情况下，尽量用不定式的主动式） ； 现在分词现在分词表主动，该动作与谓语动词的动表主动，该动作与谓语动词的动作同时发生或紧接着发生；作同时发生或紧接着发生； 过去分词过去分词表被动，或表示该动词的动作在表被动，或表示该动词的动作在谓语动词

16、动作之前发生，或者没有时间性；谓语动词动作之前发生，或者没有时间性； 现在分词的被动式现在分词的被动式表被动，与谓语动词的表被动，与谓语动词的动作同时发生。动作同时发生。 【例例6】故事是用简单的英语写的，很受故事是用简单的英语写的，很受英语初学者的欢迎。英语初学者的欢迎。 【一般一般】The stories are written in simple English. They are popular with English beginners. 【高级高级】, the stories are popular with English beginners. 1. He is ill. He

17、 didnt go to school., he didnt go to school. 2. Im writing to invite you to be a judge at our English speech contest. It will be held on June 5. Im writing to invite you to be a judge at our English speech contest . 3. After she listened to me for a while, she gave me a big smile and said she liked

18、my voice very much., she gave me a big smile and said she liked my voice very much. 4. I dont know his name. I call him Good Man., I call him Good Man. 5. The man is singing a song. He is my brother. The man is my brother. 6. Suddenly I saw an ant. She was trying hard to move another ant who was dea

19、d. Suddenly I saw an ant . 常用的并列连词有常用的并列连词有and, but, or, otherwise, nor, so, yet, however, for, as well as, both and, not only but also, either or, neither nor, and then, since 等。等。 【例例7】他不喜欢音乐，也不喜欢运他不喜欢音乐，也不喜欢运动。动。 【一般一般】He doesnt like music. He doesnt like sports, either. 【高级高级】He likes music spor

20、ts.三、运用并列句 【例例8】我不喜欢他，他很自私。我不喜欢他，他很自私。 【一般一般】I dont like him. He is selfish. 【高级高级】 I dont like him, he is selfish.三、运用并列句 1. He works hard himself. He encourages us to work hard, too. He works hard himself, encourages us to work hard. 2. These glasses are very expensive. Please be careful with them

21、. Please be careful with these glasses,they are very expensive. 3. Half of the girls choose film and TV stars as their idols. 48% of the boys favour sports stars. Half of the girls choose film and TV stars as their idols 48% of the boys favour sports stars. 4. I am good at expressing myself. I have

22、the language advantage over others. am I good at expressing myself, I have the language advantage over others. 5. According to the professor, the cause of short-sightedness is very complicated. No medicine can cure it. According to the professor, the cause of short-sightedness is very complicated no

23、 medicine can cure it. 6. The government should be aware of the importance of providing education for all the children. The average people should be aware of the importance, too. The government, as well as the average people/Both the government and the average people should be aware of the importanc

24、e of providing education for all the children. 最常用的是最常用的是。 【例例9】废水被直接排放到河里，河水被严废水被直接排放到河里，河水被严重污染。重污染。 【一般一般】Waste water is directly let into the river. The river is seriously polluted. 【高级高级】The river is seriously polluted waste water is directly let into it.四、运用复合句 【例例10】他病得很重，这让我着急。他病得很重，这让我着急。 【

25、一般一般】He was seriously ill. It made me worried. 【高级高级】He was seriously ill, which made me worried.四、运用复合句 1. He never lost a game. I was really astonished. I was really astonished he never lost a game. 2. Li Hua is my classmate. His English is very good. Li Hua is my classmate, English is very good.

26、3. As for myself, Thomas Edison is my idol. His inventions have greatly changed our life. As for myself, Thomas Edison is my idol his inventions have greatly changed our life. As for myself, Thomas Edison, inventions have greatly changed our life, is my idol. 4. Currently China has about 350 million

27、 smokers. Among these smokers 75% are men and 25% are women. Currently China has about 350 million smokers, among 75% are men and 25% are women. 5. We are now living in an information age. TV, cells and the Web are widely used in this age. We are now living in an information age, in TV, cells and th

28、e Web are widely used. 6. The government would organize more than 1, 100 engineers and workers from across the country to dig wells in the countrys southwest. It is reported. It is reported that the government would organize more than 1, 100 engineers and workers from across the country to dig wells

29、 in the countrys southwest. As is reported, the government would organize more than 1, 100 engineers and workers from across the country to dig wells in the countrys southwest. 需要注意的是，我们在写作时，要注意不需要注意的是，我们在写作时，要注意不要一味地追求复杂的句型，要一味地追求复杂的句型，能简则简，能能简则简，能用短语，就不要用从句用短语，就不要用从句。在句式多样的前。在句式多样的前提下，尽量做到精炼。提下，尽量

30、做到精炼。 【例例11】我正在餐桌旁吃饭，一个人朝我我正在餐桌旁吃饭，一个人朝我走了过来，那个人戴着一顶黑帽子。走了过来，那个人戴着一顶黑帽子。 【复杂复杂】I was at table when a man who was wearing a black hat came up to me. 【简明简明】When I was at table, a man wearing a black hat came up to me.写作中复合句常见的错误写作中复合句常见的错误1.只有从句，没有主句只有从句，没有主句 The keeper who had lived in the light towe

31、r for a long time, so he could keep calm in the storm.2.以逗号代替句号以逗号代替句号,把两个简单句当成把两个简单句当成一个句子一个句子 The old man thought of his son, tears came down from his face. The hall is different from all other buildings, it is made of glass.3.3.刻意使用从句，表达不自然刻意使用从句，表达不自然 There are over fifty students in this school

32、 who are going to take part in the sports meet next Sunday. Over fifty students in this school are going to take part in the sports meet next Sunday.4.过多地使用并列句组合信息过多地使用并列句组合信息 We were driving out into the country, and we saw our English teacher riding in a bus, and the bus was crowded. It is a beaut

33、iful day, and the sun is shining and a breeze is blowing. It is a beautiful day with the sun shining and a breeze blowing. As we were driving out into the country, we saw our English teacher riding in a crowded bus. Kate is a new student. She comes from a northern province. She speaks a dialect. We

34、find it hard to understand her dialect. Kate, a new student from a northern province, speaks a dialect which we find it hard to understand.用一句话表达用一句话表达不是人人都能学好英语，小学生同时学汉语和不是人人都能学好英语，小学生同时学汉语和英语反而会影响汉语学习。英语反而会影响汉语学习。第一步：拆分成几个简单句第一步：拆分成几个简单句不是人人都能学好英语。不是人人都能学好英语。小学生同时学汉语和英语。小学生同时学汉语和英语。这会影响汉语学习。这会影响汉语

35、学习。第二步：分别翻译这几个简单句第二步：分别翻译这几个简单句 Not everyone is good at learning English. This will affect their Chinese study. Children from primary school learn English and Chinese at the same time. Not everyone is good at learning English. Children from primary school start to learn English and Chinese at the sa

36、me time. This will affect their Chinese study.第三步：合并句子第三步：合并句子 That children from primary school start to learn English and Chinese at the same time will affect their Chinese study because not everyone is good at learning English. Not everyone is good at learning English. Children from primary schoo

37、l start to learn English and Chinese at the same time. This will affect their Chinese study.第三步：合并句子第三步：合并句子 If children from primary school start to learn English and Chinese at the same time, this will affect their Chinese study方法方法2 2： because not everyone is good at learning English.你来试试你来试试现象现象

38、 学生作文中出现很多错别字学生作文中出现很多错别字原因原因1.上网聊天时经常使用网络语言。上网聊天时经常使用网络语言。2.每天有很多作业做，没有记住生字。每天有很多作业做，没有记住生字。参考词汇：参考词汇：错别字错别字: wrongly-written characters网络语言：网络语言：web language要求：要求：1. 1. 用用两句话两句话表达表格内容表达表格内容 2. 2. 两句话要有两句话要有连贯性连贯性第一句（两个信息点）：第一句（两个信息点）： 1. 1. 学生作文中出现很多错别字学生作文中出现很多错别字 2.2.（他们）上网聊天时经常使用网络语言。（他们）上网聊天时经

39、常使用网络语言。 There are many wrongly-written characters in students compositions. The reason why there are many wrongly-written characters in students compositions is that they often use web languages when chatting on line.合并句子：合并句子： They often use web languages when chatting on line. 1. They have so muc

40、h homework to do every day that they fail to memorize the new characters.第二句第二句:1. 1. 每天有很多作业做每天有很多作业做 2. 2. 没有记住生字没有记住生字。 They have much homework to do every day.2. With so much homework to do every day, they fail to memorize the new characters.3. Because they have so much homework to do, they fail

41、 to memorize the new characters.合并句子：合并句子： They fail to memorize the new characters. 连接两句话：连接两句话： The reason why there are many wrongly-written characters in students compositions is that they often use web languages when chatting on line. Moreover, they have so much homework to do every day that th

42、ey fail to memorize the new characters. 昨天，我们在班里进行了一场讨论。我们昨天，我们在班里进行了一场讨论。我们讨论是否应该帮助那些困境中的人。我的讨论是否应该帮助那些困境中的人。我的一些同学说应该。他们认为帮助他人是我一些同学说应该。他们认为帮助他人是我们中华民族的传统美德。一些人认为帮助们中华民族的传统美德。一些人认为帮助他人不是个好主意。现在的人忘恩负义。他人不是个好主意。现在的人忘恩负义。我们可能受到我们想帮助的人的伤害。依我们可能受到我们想帮助的人的伤害。依我之见，我们应伸出援助之手给那些需要我之见，我们应伸出援助之手给那些需要帮助的人。人人能

43、互相关心。这个世界会帮助的人。人人能互相关心。这个世界会更美好。更美好。翻译合并 将下列句子译成英文，然后运用本课件的方法，并使用适当的关联词将它们组成一篇五句话的短文。 昨天，我们在班里进行了一场讨论。昨天，我们在班里进行了一场讨论。 Yesterday we had a discussion in our class. 我们讨论是否应该帮助那些困境中的人。我们讨论是否应该帮助那些困境中的人。 We discussed whether we should help those in trouble . 我的一些同学说应该。我的一些同学说应该。 Some of my classmates sa

44、id we should. 他们认为帮助他人是我们中华民族的传他们认为帮助他人是我们中华民族的传统美德。统美德。 They think helping others is a good traditional virtue of us Chinese people. 一些人认为帮助他人不是个好主意。一些人认为帮助他人不是个好主意。 Others didnt think it is a good idea to help other people. 现在的人忘恩负义。现在的人忘恩负义。 People nowadays are ungrateful. 我们可能受到我们想帮助的人的伤害。我们可能受到

45、我们想帮助的人的伤害。 We may be hurt by those who we are trying to help. 依我之见，我们应伸出援助之手给那些需依我之见，我们应伸出援助之手给那些需要帮助的人。要帮助的人。 In my view, we should give a hand to the people in need of help. 人人能互相关心。人人能互相关心。 Everyone can care for each other. 这个世界会更美好。这个世界会更美好。 The world will become more beautiful.Yesterday we had

46、 a discussion on/about whether we should help those in trouble in our class. Some of my classmates said we should because they think helping others is a good traditional virtue of us Chinese people while others didnt think it is a good idea to help other people as people nowadays are ungrateful. The

47、y said that we may be hurt by those who we are trying to help. In my view, we should give a hand to the people in need of help. If everyone can care for each other, the world will become more beautiful.1. 一个乞丐在路边讨钱一个乞丐在路边讨钱(ask for money)。李先生。李先生匆忙赶路上班，没有注意到那个乞丐。匆忙赶路上班，没有注意到那个乞丐。2. 乞丐很生气，伸出乞丐很生气，伸出(

48、stick out)拐杖，差点把李拐杖，差点把李先生绊倒了先生绊倒了(trip over)。3. 李先生意识到他是个残疾人，便在口袋里找钱李先生意识到他是个残疾人，便在口袋里找钱给他。给他。4. 李先生拿出了一张百元钞票李先生拿出了一张百元钞票(a 100-yuan note)。 突然一阵风把钞票吹到了空中。突然一阵风把钞票吹到了空中。5. 乞丐迅速跳起来去追那张钞票。乞丐迅速跳起来去追那张钞票。 李先生站在那里，惊得合不拢嘴。李先生站在那里，惊得合不拢嘴。：以下是你根据图画内容和题目要求，经过以下是你根据图画内容和题目要求，经过观察、整理排列成的五个信息块，请分别用一个句子观察、整理排列成的

49、五个信息块，请分别用一个句子表达出来，并组成一篇连贯性的短文。表达出来，并组成一篇连贯性的短文。A beggar Exchange and discuss your partners composition, then give each other a score according to the following criteria. Criteria（标准）（标准） Mark Content（内容）（内容） （是否用（是否用5 5句话表达了全文要点）句话表达了全文要点） 0 5 分分 Language（语言）（语言） （句子结构及用词是否得当）（句子结构及用词是否得当） 0 8 分分 C

50、oherence（连贯）（连贯）（是否用了恰当的词语来衔接句子）（是否用了恰当的词语来衔接句子） 0 2 分分Pair work A beggar One day, when Mr. Li hurried on his way to work, a beggar on the roadside was asking for money, but Mr. Li paid no attention on him. As a result, the beggar got angry and stuck out his walking stick, which almost tripped Mr. L