2020届9月高三年级名校协作体考试读后续写讲评28张：There Are No Vans 课件.pptx

1、第二节第二节 读后续写读后续写 (满分满分25分分) 阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。 There Are No Vans To me, what Thanksgiving really means is giving good thanks, not eating turkey.By the time I was 18 I had created my Thanksgiving ritual (惯例).I would go out shopping and buy enough food for one

2、or two families.Then I would dress like a delivery boy, go to the poorest neighborhood and just knock on a door, and would always include a note saying “All that I ask in return is that you take good enough care of yourself so that someday you can do the same thing for someone else.” I have received

3、 more from this annual ritual than I have from any amount of money Ive ever earned, especially one such experience in New York City. Several years ago I was in New York City with my newly married wife during Thanksgiving.She was sad because we were not with our family.Normally she would be home deco

4、rating the house for Christmas, but we were stuck here in a hotel room.I said, “Honey, look, why dont we decorate some lives today instead of some trees?” When I told her what I always do on Thanksgiving, she got excited.I said, “Lets go someplace where we can really appreciate who we are, what we a

5、re able to do and what we can really give.Lets go to the poor neighborhood Harlem and feed some people there in need. Well go buy enough food for six or seven families for 30 days.Weve got enough.Lets go do it!” We started by getting a van (货车), but there seemed no vans in all of New York City.The r

6、ent-a-car places were all out of vans. My wife was disappointed, and I said, “Look, the bottom line is that if we want something, we can make it happen! All we have to do is take action.There are plenty of vans here in New York City.Look down at the street. Do you see all those vans? Lets go get one

7、!” My wife agreed and we took action. Predict the story There Are No Vans What are we looking for? Do we find what we want? Why? What do you think the story is about? To me, what Thanksgiving really means is giving good thanks, not eating turkey.By the time I was 18 I had created my Thanksgiving rit

8、ual (惯例).I would go out shopping and buy enough food for one or two families.Then I would dress like a delivery boy, go to the poorest neighborhood and just knock on a door, and would always include a note saying “All that I ask in return is that you take good enough care of yourself so that someday

9、 you can do the same thing for someone else.” I have received more from this annual ritual than I have from any amount of money Ive ever earned, especially one such experience in New York City. To me, what Thanksgiving really means is giving good thanks, not eating turkey.By the time I was 18 I had

10、created my Thanksgiving ritual (惯例).I would go out shopping and buy enough food for one or two families.Then I would dress like a delivery boy, go to the poorest neighborhood and just knock on a door, and would always include a note saying “All that I ask in return is that you take good enough care

11、of yourself so that someday you can do the same thing for someone else.” I have received more from this annual ritual than I have from any amount of money Ive ever earned, especially one such experience in New York City. What would I usual do for my Thanksgiving ritual? What do I get from my Thanksg

12、iving ritual? To me, what Thanksgiving really means is giving good thanks, not eating turkey.By the time I was 18 I had created my Thanksgiving ritual (惯例).I would go out shopping and buy enough food for one or two families.Then I would dress like a delivery boy, go to the poorest neighborhood and j

13、ust knock on a door, and would always include a note saying “All that I ask in return is that you take good enough care of yourself so that someday you can do the same thing for someone else.” I have received more from this annual ritual than I have from any amount of money Ive ever earned, especial

14、ly one such experience in New York City. To me, what Thanksgiving really means is giving good thanks, not eating turkey.By the time I was 18 I had created my Thanksgiving ritual (惯例).I would go out shopping and buy enough food for one or two families.Then I would dress like a delivery boy, go to the

15、 poorest neighborhood and just knock on a door, and would always include a note saying “All that I ask in return is that you take good enough care of yourself so that someday you can do the same thing for someone else.” I have received more from this annual ritual than I have from any amount of mone

16、y Ive ever earned, especially one such experience in New York City. A general point: I received more from my Thanksgiving ritual Example: an experience in New York City Know the story-elements Characters Time Place Eventan experience in New York City to search vans. my wife, I, the driver during Tha

17、nksgiving (the 4th Thursday in Nov.) New York City Why were we in need of vans? What does the writer intend to tell us? p Little people can make a big difference. p A friend in need is a friend indeed. p Nothing is impossible for a willing heart. p One good turn deserves another. p . kindness overt

18、plot Setting Inciting incident Rising action Climax Falling action Resolution Denouement Events A. We needed a van for loading supplies. B. We tried our chance at the street. C. We went to the rent-a-car places for getting a van, but in vain. D. Stuck in a hotel during Thanksgiving we decided to hel

19、p people in Harlem. D A C B Know the story-plot Covert plot TimeEventsMood Before we made a plan My wife and I were _ in a hotel She felt _ When we made a plan I told her _ We decided to _She got _ After we made a plan We started by getting _, but found _; I advised to _ She was _ stucksad my Thanks

20、giving ritual excited go to the poor Harlem and buy food for them a van there seemed no vans available disappointed take a chance in the streets Weave the story Paragraph 1: We tried stopping vans as they were driving down the street. _ _ _ Paragraph 2: Eventually a van drove up and the driver said

21、yes. _ _ 划线词分类划线词分类 Characterwife SettingThanksgiving; food; experience; Harlem; in need; van Actionbuy; knock Mooddisappointed Event: Mood: Event: Mood: stuck told started sad excited disappointed attempt to get a van-in vain disappointed/hopeless succeed in getting a van delighted/excited 话题词块/表达

22、表示失望： p 叹气叹气She sighed heavily. After several fruitless attempts, my wife let out a long sigh. p 跺脚跺脚My wife stamped her foot in despair. Staring at the vans zooming past us, my wife trembled with rage. p 皱眉皱眉 “Who can we turn help to?” my wife murmured with a fierce frown.紧皱眉头 p 颤抖颤抖 My wife gave a

23、 miserable shrug. 沮丧地耸了耸肩p 耸肩耸肩 p 目光呆滞目光呆滞She looked blank in a moment. 目光呆滞 p 蹒跚蹒跚With a dazed look on our face, we staggered away. p 苦笑苦笑She smiled a sad smile. p 失望地看失望地看My wife darted/cast a frustrated look at me. p 低头低头 I looked my wife in desperation. 绝望地 She bowed her head and said nothing. p

24、 摇头摇头She just shook her head in hopelessness. p 哭哭 Tears of grievance (委屈) /rivns/ came into her eyes when she saw them left. 表示失望： p 心跳加快心跳加快 My heart thumped fiercely in my chest, tension overwhelming me entirely in its power. p 无灵主语无灵主语 n All at once a feeling of hopelessness swept through me. n

25、A strong feeling of failure beat me out of breath. n A sense of disappointment flooded in my heart, and hopelessness frequently echoed my brain. n After a long waiting, disappointment accumulated in our heart. n Disappointment mingled with frustration growing inside me. n Disappointment swallowed my

26、 wife. She sat on the ground and didnt utter a single word. n A sense of disappointment crept upon me. n The unsuccessful attempts cast a cloud of gloom over our face. more expressions to show disappointment 表示高兴： p 尖叫尖叫Hearing the words, my wife shrieked with excitement 激动的尖叫 p 心跳心跳My heart thumped

27、 with excitement. 兴奋地心直跳 (表高兴难以置信) With a shriek of delight, She hugged me.p 拥抱拥抱 p 握手握手 I took hold of his hands gratefully. p 点头点头We nodded gratefully. p 笑笑Her eyes twinkled and her lips broke into a broad smile. p 跳起来跳起来 Hearing the simple yes, we all jumped with joy. p 哭哭We shed tears with joy.

28、p 松口气松口气At this moment, we breathed a sigh of relief. l we were wild with excitement/joy. l we could hardly contain our excitement. l we were delighted beyond description. l we were floating on air. l we were beside ourselves(极度兴奋) with excitement. l we beam with excitement. l Our face lit up. l Our

29、 heart was thundering with excitement. more expressions to show excitement A wave of happiness swept over us. A surge of excitement flashed into my heart. A sense of warmth flowed in my body. 表示努力： p 用让步状语从句用让步状语从句 n We kept on struggling forward, even though _ n While _, we never lost hope for anot

30、her try. we knew it was hopeless. the passing drivers zoomed past us without a stop n _(as) , we continued to wave at the passing cars stubbornly. n We told ourselves repeatedly _ (however), we wouldnt give in to setbacks. Disappointed and fatigued as we were however painstaking the task was, n In s

31、pite of _, we still believed in miracles.countless failures p 用非谓语用非谓语 表示努力： n _(be refused), we decided to try one last time. Having been refused many times n _(咬紧牙关), we pushed on. Gritting our teeth p 用强调句用强调句 n _(妻子的鼓励) gave me an extra burst of energy. 迸发出额外的能量 It was my wifes encouragement tha

32、t p 用倒装结构用倒装结构 n _ (never) Never would we be defeated by the plight 表示努力： p 用用虚拟语气虚拟语气 n We summoned up/collected up/ plucked up/mustered up/gathered our courage and yelled at the top of our voice for the fear that _ _ we would miss a van. p 用谚语用谚语 n Our heart sank at the thought of our failure to g

33、et a van, but we told ourselves _.(绝不半途而废)never do anything by halves p 用用“the+“the+比较级，比较级， the+the+比较级比较级” n We constantly convince ourselves that the more _ _. efforts we put in, the luckier we would be. 常见问题 未理清人物未理清人物 关系：关系： Harlem 是地是地 点不是人物点不是人物 无用的环境描写：无用的环境描写： colorful与下文故与下文故 事发展脱节。事发展脱节。

34、书写较差书写较差 故事太过冗故事太过冗 长拖沓长拖沓 未按要求划线未按要求划线 优秀习作优秀习作 22.5 本文抓住了故事的中本文抓住了故事的中 心矛盾心矛盾我们我们 的努的努 力和过往车辆的力和过往车辆的 “无无 情情” (turn a blind eye/sped pass/ drown our hope)构思和推动构思和推动 情节情节; 用无灵主语和用无灵主语和 外貌描写外貌描写(fingers numbed/ throatchocked/red- rimmed )侧面烘托了侧面烘托了 “我们我们”的无奈和无助。的无奈和无助。 结尾段用了时间状结尾段用了时间状 语语 immediatel

35、y/ then/that night/ when等有序地推进等有序地推进 故事发展；并且用外故事发展；并且用外 部寒冷的环境跟内心部寒冷的环境跟内心 感到的温暖和炽热作感到的温暖和炽热作 对比深化主题对比深化主题“at least we can offer our kindness” 优秀习作优秀习作 22 该文续写第一段用了该文续写第一段用了 非谓语非谓语 leaving us standing on the streets /waiting for a miracle 和形容词状语和形容词状语 alone/unwilling 生动、生动、 形象地勾勒出了形象地勾勒出了 现实现实 的的“冷酷

36、冷酷” 和和 我们的我们的 “执着执着”，描写了故事，描写了故事 该有的曲折，合理地该有的曲折，合理地 推动情节的发展。推动情节的发展。 该文续写第二段用该文续写第二段用 了形象动词了形象动词 hugged/discussed/ decided/knocked/d elivered/smiled等继等继 续推进故事发展；续推进故事发展； 同时用了一系列情同时用了一系列情 绪词绪词 anxiety/tiredness/ excitedly/joyful等向等向 读者传递主人公由读者传递主人公由 悲转喜的情景悲转喜的情景 。 优秀习作优秀习作 该文使用了非谓该文使用了非谓 语（语（waving a

37、t.;） only to.；无灵主；无灵主 语语 (disappointment crept onto my face; The gathering gloom even deepened my anxiety) 牵动故事发展牵动故事发展 文章第二段用文章第二段用 了了with复合结构复合结构 “with butterflies in my stomach” 、 非谓语非谓语 “Looking at .”、独立主格、独立主格 结构结构 “tears rolling down our cheeks” 形象地展示了故形象地展示了故 事结尾事结尾 传递爱心传递爱心 的感人至深的一的感人至深的一 幕。

38、幕。 A possible version: Para1：We tried stopping vans as they were driving down the street. I learned something about New York drivers that day: They dont stop; they speed up. Then we tried waiting by the light. Wed go over, knock on the window and the driver would roll it down, looking at us in alarm

39、, and Id ask if he would drive us to Harlem so we could help some people. Every time the driver would look away quickly, furiously roll up the window and pull away without saying anything. My wife was ready to give up, but I said, “Its the law of averages: somebody is going to say yes.” Para 2: Even

40、tually a van drove up and the driver said yes. We were wild with joy and climbed onto the van. Upon arrival, he led us to a store where we bought lots of food and some baskets. Together we packed them up, carried them onto the van and went to buildings where there were even people living without electricity. It was a truly fulfilling experience to make even a small difference. You see, you can make anything happen if you commit to it and take action. Miracles like this happen every dayeven in a city where “there are no vans.”