读后续写：以衡水中学联考作文谈写高分作文的最有效的方法.docx

1、读后续写：以衡水中学联考作文谈写高分作文的最有效的方法读后续写：以衡水中学联考作文谈写高分作文的最有效的方法 版本一： But no more helicopters came and it was getting dark again. But no more helicopters came and it was getting dark again. The ceiling of thick branches shut out the sky and covered the path in darkness. Jane looked around blankly, a shiver of

2、 alarm going through her. Soon the full moon rose, large, round and clear, shining in the deep blue. “Why not pick stones from the stream and make them in the form of SOS?” cried Jane excitedly, determined to save herself independently. Having finished it, she felt so exhausted and slept beside the

3、stones. Tomorrow will be another day. It was daybreak when Jane woke up. Birds were chirping, the branches swaying to the rhythm of the wind, and the leaves fluttering like graceful butterflies. A ray of hope rose naturally in her heart. Suddenly, the buzzing of the helicopter came overhead again. I

4、t did saw her waving yellow blouse and most important the SOS. Upon its landing, so thrilled was she that she threw herself at Tom and hugged him tightly, tears of joy welling up in their eyes. “I miss you so much. Have you found the spot?” “Yes, in our heart.” 版本二： But no more helicopters came and

5、it was getting dark again. The trees cracked and groaned in the dark. A thrill of alarm came through Jane. Eventually, she determined on spotting an open area, awaiting another helicopter. She stumbled her way through the horrible forests and climbed to a high place. No time to waste. After she flag

6、ged her yellow blouse, Jane sank to the ground, anguished and defeated. Gazing at the sky, Jane recalled Tom and tears blurred her eyes. Terrified as she was, she fell fast asleep in the wild. It was daybreak when Jane woke up. And, as luck would have it, a helicopter just came by! Jane yelled and s

7、kipped, waving her yellow blouse. To her great joy, the helicopter noticed her and landed. What astounded her most was that it was Tom who sat in the helicopter! Out rushed Tom. A huge smile spread across Janes face and the couple hugged tightly for a long time. It was the narrow escape that made Ja

8、ne perceive that love was priceless. Over the next years, a change came over the couple. Reasoned discussion replaced fierce arguments and politeness replaced contrariness. They treasured the life and love more. 结论是： 1.首先要找到首先要找到 conflict 在哪里，然后最多五句话说清楚在哪里，然后最多五句话说清楚 solution。解决方案不包括心情 和环境描写。第一篇昨天文章

9、里已经分析过，下面只说第二篇： Solution: She stumbled her way through the horrible forests and climbed to a high place. a helicopter just came by. Out rushed Tom. 看起来就非常简单，无非就是：找空地失败；天亮飞机又来了；夫妇重逢。 2.其次围绕其次围绕 solution，进行心情和环境描写的铺垫，进行心情和环境描写的铺垫，以上两篇都是非常好的例子。第一 篇昨天已经分析过，第二篇的分析： 第一段： 环境描写烘托恐惧：The trees cracked and gro

10、aned in the dark. A thrill of alarm came through Jane. 心情描写：Jane sank to the ground, anguished and defeated. Gazing at the sky, Jane recalled Tom and tears blurred her eyes. Terrified as she was, she fell fast asleep in the wild. 第二段： 心情描写：A huge smile spread across Janes face and the couple hugged

11、tightly for a long time. 但这篇的结尾太多的议论不合适，需要大胆舍弃部分，这样也不会超出太多的字数。 实战：（实战：（衡水中学四月联考卷衡水中学四月联考卷） Paragraph 1: On the Christmas eve, Cathryn received a call, which said to return the pet to her at the park gate. Praagraph 2: Just then Mary recognized the thief was her boyfriend. 写作指导 一、情节构思：一、情节构思：Conflict

12、 - Solution 本文的 conflict: find the thief; how to treat him，而 solution 就要分两种：forgive or not to forgive? 无论选择哪种 solution，都要用最简洁的 3-5 句话： 1.Mary 陪陪 Cathryn 去。去。 2.小偷出现。小偷出现。 3.他们走上前去。他们走上前去。 4.小偷解释。小偷解释。 （小偷为什么这样做？联系 break up，同时一定要注意开头 weak dog） 5.Mary 回复回复（是原谅还是让他去警局解释，这就要表现表现 Mary 的性格了，刚 正不阿还是温柔善良）。

13、二、细节铺垫：心情描写、环境描写二、细节铺垫：心情描写、环境描写 （Cathryn 接到电话后的兴奋接到电话后的兴奋；Mary 的怀疑，这里要表现她的性格特征，为下文的怀疑，这里要表现她的性格特征，为下文 回答铺垫）回答铺垫） 1. Mary 陪 Cathryn 去。 （公园门口的环境描写：阴沉） 2.小偷出现。 （小偷胆怯害怕；认出小偷后 Cathryn 的愤怒） 3.他们走上前去。 （直面小偷的愤怒） 4.小偷解释 （挽回爱情，把狗治好） 5.Mary 回复 （照应开头她的性格） 具体过程：具体过程： 第一段：第一段： 激动 A feeling of excitement ran thro

14、ugh her body, her hear t thumping fiercely and the phone falling to the ground with a loud bang. 怀疑 But with a cloud of suspicion hanging over her, Mary couldnt stand any crime and decided to accompany her mom to the park. 环境描 写 A thick mist enveloped the park with dead leaves flutte ring slowly in

15、the air. Action- Respon se Suddenly, a young man came into sight who looked ar ound carefully and tiptoed to the gate, a cute dogtheir Labradoodlein his arms. “He was the very male that day.” Cathryn blurted out in anger. 第二段：第二段： 跑过去 They rushed over, looking him in the eye, so furious that they ju

16、st couldnt contain themselves. Action- Respon se He felt a ripple of fear pass through him. “Im sorr y,” stammered the man, “I just wanted to cure the wea k dog and give you a surprise after breaking up with y ou.” “You go too far. Your selfish behavior may well kill my puppy,” Mary sneered, “You ne

17、ed to go to the police station and explain it to the policemen.” 结尾 Then, she turned around and left without a word. 完整的： On the Christmas eve, Cathryn received a call, which said to return the pet to her at the park gate. A feeling of excitement ran through her body, her heart thumping fiercely and

18、 her phone falling to the ground with a loud bang. But with a cloud of suspicion hanging over her, Mary couldnt stand any crime and decided to accompany her mom to the park. A thick mist enveloped the park with dead leaves fluttering slowly in the air. Suddenly, a young man came into sight who looke

19、d around shaking with fear and tiptoed to the gate, a cute dogtheir Labradoodlein his arms. “He was the very male that day.” Cathryn blurted out in anger. Just then Mary recognized the thief was her boyfriend. They rushed over, looking him in the eye, so furious that they just couldnt contain themse

20、lves. He felt a ripple of fear pass through him. “Im sorry,” stammered the man, “I just wanted to cure the weak dog and give you a surprise after breaking up with you.” “You go too far. Your selfish behavior may well kill my puppy,” Mary sneered, “You need to go to the police station and explain it to the policemen.” Then, she turned around and left without a word. 参考答案：