1、书面表达:求助信 学案假如你是李华,是一名刚升入高三的学生,因为短时间内没有适应高三的紧张生活,最近遇到了无法集中注意力、睡眠不佳等问题,于是你决定给颇受欢迎的外籍老师Daniel 写一封信,寻求他的建议和帮助。内容包括:1.你所遇到的问题或困惑;2.希望得到 Daniel 的建议和帮助。注意:写作词数应为80左右;我们拿到小作文的第一步就是构思三段分别要写什么。第一段:1.你所遇到的问题或困惑+写信目的。第二段:2.具体问题+希望得到 Daniel 的建议和帮助。第三段:3.期待早日收到 Daniel 的回复。从一篇学生的考试作文中来分析如何这篇文章吧。Dear Daniel,l am Li
2、 Hua. I would like to take it my confusion to ask to you some question, from which Ive seen.As far as Im concerned, I have not adapted the life of senior 3, I felt under the pressure, not concentrating on the class, feeling sleepy in self-study class. To help my study better, I sincerely hope you gi
3、ving me at hand, getting out of the trap of mental problems. Apart from that, maybe I lacked of study, some knowledge may not be mastered, you can give me some way of study, I will make no effort in exam to thank you.I would appreciate it if you can accept my letter at your early convenience. 第一段:1.
4、你所遇到的问题或困惑+写信目的。注意:第一段应该明确写出你遇到的问题是什么,并且根据题干,Daniel是一位受人欢迎的老师,由此写出你写信请求他帮助的原因。即:问题+求助Daniel的原因+请求帮助。那么我们看一下该学生的作文,避开语法错误不谈,只有ask you some question,勉强算是写信目的。注意避免用指代不明的some,有啥问题就直说,不要用模模糊糊的some。l am Li Hua. I would like to take it my confusion to ask to you some question, from which Ive seen.改:l am Li
5、 Hua, a senior three student, having been struggling with my inadaptability of senior life in school for a long time, which upsets me a million. Learning that you are a quite well-liked English teacher in our school, I eagerly turn to you for help. (43 words)第二段:2.具体问题+希望得到 Daniel 的建议和帮助。注意:第二段写具体问题
6、,中间要用上过渡词,如:initially, more terribly等,显得有条例。还有,要就自己的问题征求外教的意见,这就需要用到疑问句,建议写两条,并注意语气要礼貌委婉。我们来看看这位同学写的作品:As far as Im concerned, I have not adapted the life of senior 3, I felt under the pressure, not concentrating on the class, feeling sleepy in self-study class. To help my study better, I sincerely
7、hope you giving me a hand, getting out of the trap of mental problems. Apart from that, maybe I lacked of study, some knowledge may not be mastered, you can give me some way of study, I will make no effort in exam to thank you.问题:1. As far as Im concerned,应该用来表达个人观点。如:As far as Im concerned,it is a
8、good idea to pay a visit to Beijing in summer holiday.2. I have not adapted the life of senior 3, I felt under the pressure, not concentrating on the class, feeling sleepy in self-study class. 这个句子应该是因果逻辑关系,所以要把这种关系用更复杂的状从体现出来。改: As I have not adapted the life of senior 3, I am under a lot of pressu
9、re, failing to concentrate on the class, and more terribly, feeling sleepy in self-study class. 这句话还可以进一步简化,用非谓语表达:not having adapted the life of senior 3, I am under a lot of pressure, failing to concentrate on the class, and more terribly, feeling sleepy in self-study class. 甚至我们还可以静态化adapt这个动词,改成
10、:because of the inadaptability of my senior life, I am under a lot of pressure, failing to concentrate on the class, and more terribly, feeling sleepy in self-study class.3. 我们可以看出这位同学描写自己的困境跟学习之间并没有建立直接的联系。改:Because of the inadaptability of my senior life, I am under a lot of pressure, failing to c
11、oncentrate on the class, and more terribly, feeling sleepy in self-study class, which leads to my failure in English exam.4. To help my study better, I sincerely hope you giving me a hand, getting out of the trap of mental problems. 改:to better my English learning, I sincerely hope that you could be
12、 kind enough to give me a big hand, helping me out of these bad traps.5.Apartfromthat,maybeIlackedofstudy,someknowledgemaynotbemastered,youcangivemesomewayofstudy,Iwillmakenoeffortinexamtothankyou.大概学生想写的就是有些知识没有掌握吧。改:Apartfromthat,itstillremainsabigheadacheformetototallydigesttheknowledgethatmyteac
13、herpresentsinclass,andwouldyouliketooffermesometipsonhowtolearnEnglishefficientlyandeffectivelyinclass?全文:l am Li Hua, a senior three student, having been struggling with my inadaptability of senior life in school for a long time, which upsets me a million. Learning that you are a quite well-liked E
14、nglish teacher in our school, I eagerly turn to you for help. (43 words)Initially,becauseoftheinadaptabilityofmyseniorlife,Iamunderamountainouspressure,failingtoconcentrateonstudy,andmoreterribly,feelingsleepyinclass,whichleadstomyfailureinEnglishexam.TobettermyEnglishlearning,hopefully,youcouldbekindenoughtogivemeabighand,helpingmeoutofthesetraps.Apartfromthat,itremainsabigheadacheformetototallydigesttheknowledgethatmyteacherpresents,andwouldyouliketooffermesometipsonhowtolearnEnglishefficientlyandeffectivelyinclass?(97words)I am looking forward to your early reply.